A.K.A What Do Our Ratings Mean?
⅗ Spice… that’s nice, but what does that mean, right?
We want to make sure we are very clear with you from the start. Everyone rates their spice a little different, and what someone thinks is 2 chili peppers could be 4 to someone else. We thought, let’s avoid the confusion. So below is your go to chart to know what kind of book boyfriend you’re getting yourself into when you’re considering a new fictional man to add to your ever growing list.
Book Boyfriend Rating Meaning:
1 – He’s fun, but you’d probably break up with him after a while or forget about him. One of you hopes he is BF material but he really isn’t.
2 – Doesn’t have much of a personality, but like all fictional men, he knows what he’s doing in bed so you give him a chance. He has the makings of a boyfriend, exhibits characteristics like- dating, gifts, lets a lady finish first, etc.. but ultimately falls a little short. There are either external or internal issues that cause him or you to walk away.
3 – This one has potential. You root for him to make it to boyfriend level and maybe he does but it’s not the full image. He’s a work in progress. Maybe he has a personality that you would not fall for in real life but for purposes of falling in love with a fantasy, you’re willing to overlook it.. Bonus, he’s probably rich and has a huge “talent.” This BF likely doesn’t resolve issues, but he looks really good and knows what he’s doing in between the sheets. That’s good enough for the fictional world and so that’s good enough for us.
4 – This boyfriend shows you love like no other has. Maybe he worships you, he talks to you, he makes you feel alive and the only reason he can’t be a five is because we all hold our book boyfriends to a higher standard than real men and you know there are better book boyfriends out there when you really nit-pick. Maybe this book BF isn’t a billionaire like most of them are. Truly, this is us at our most picky. Maybe there were one to two issues that we felt held this book boyfriend back whether that be a character development issue or unrealistic sex scene. But at the end of the day, we would be happy to call him ours in the fictional or real world.
5 – Book Boyfriend perfection. You wouldn’t change a thing because changing even the tiniest of flaws would destroy the perfection he is and how he loves you which only seeps through the pages and into your heart. I mean what more can we say – perfect person, says the right things at the right time in the right order, knows what he’s doing down there and isn’t afraid to speak his mind, but is also a considerate and loving partner. The kind we all dream of. Flawless like the engagement ring he would give you at the end of the book.
BOOK HUSBAND MATERIAL: This is the holy grail. This is the book husband you marry and take home to meet your parents because you know that this man is so perfect, he could only exist in a book. A book husband is a man so perfect that he surpasses your ideals. so much so you can overlook a flaw or two or better yet he develops in such a way over those pages to grow. That’s a husband. He also knows exactly what he wants and isn’t afraid to give you what you want. Over and over again.
Spice Rating Meaning:
0 – There is desire/longing and book alludes to sex, but no sexual acts described.
1 – Less than three sex scenes, which may be descriptive but not lengthy and likely Vanilla. (BTW- no judgment. Vanilla can be good, but if it lacks creativity or tension it lands here.)
2 – Three to four good descriptive sex scenes or unexpected creativity inside or out of the bedroom.
3 – Four to seven scenes and/or very descriptive scenes; or reverse harem (“why choose”)/polygamous relationships.
4 – Seven or more scenes with/or very descriptive sex scenes with a wide range of creativity for location, positions, and situations, which will make you question your ability to keep a straight face if reading in public; This can include reverse harem/polygamous relationships; Here, it may be about scenes that make you think you should try that, but aren’t even sure yourself if you’d dare.
5 – Either numerous scenes with descriptive, creative and original sexual acts that you could not read in public without the evidence being written all over your face.
Tension Rating Meaning:
1 – They hooked up almost immediately and/or the banter remained at a minimum throughout the book. Maybe it was predictable or rushed.
2 – The characters have some chemistry but it falls short, feels forced, or banter isn’t always on.
3 – The banter is bantering, and the blush factor is there, but maybe that tension is missing or worse, the author tried to take the tension too far and it took too long to get there. A slow burn can be done incorrectly.
4 – The banter has you reacting out loud, and/or you couldn’t resist the tension between the main characters that has finally been realized.
5 – Either this is a perfected slow burn or the quality of the banter was so refined that you had to stay up until 2 a.m. because you could not exist another moment waiting for these characters to jump each other’s bones.
Dark Romance Rating Meaning:
0 – No dark elements, everything is consensual, golden retriever BF, with little to no dirty talk; likely categorized as Vanilla – which there is NOTHING wrong with.
1 – Some dark elements or taboo/deviant themes, but all acts are consensual, and add some dirty talk.
2 – More taboo/deviant themes with use of non-lethal objects to play out fantasies, all consensual, and maybe safe words are used. May include group sex.
3 – Lethal weapons may be used for sexual fantasies, but consent still plays a major role, including the use of a safe word. Very little dubious consent, but some acts may be considered questionable.
4 – Lethal objects and/or weapons used during sexual fantasies; Consent may be dubious/questionable or consensual non-consent, such as themes of forced sex fantasies and or breath play.
5 – Non consensual behavior, very questionable consent, sex which includes physical injury to either party – whether consensual or not. (i.e. blood play)
*It should be noted that for our “Spice” and “Dark Romance Rating,” a “5” may also encompass elements from a “4” or a “3” rating.
Why did we choose to rate on the above categories?
Sure, we could go on and on rating various aspects of these books? Slow Burn effect? Dirty Talk Rating? Banter Rating? But ultimately, we want to make it easier for you (not harder) to choose your next fictional man. We think the above four categories do just that, and if you read between the lines, you know that these ratings encompass the sub-category of topics you’re all curious about before going into your next read.
P.S. we reserve the right to change our mind. That’s what a great book makes you do. 😉
For a more in depth analysis on any of our Book Boyfriends, check out our blogs to see these ratings in action and don’t forget to listen to our podcast for the full scoop!
